What to expect at a swingers Party.
So what really happens at those swinger parties? We’re gonna tell you, in detail!
The majority of swinger clubs across North America are off-premise clubs, where no sexual conduct of any kind is permitted. You’d no more drop to your knees and start giving head in a off-premise swinger party than you would at your local Applebee’s Restaurant! When you’re picking out a party to attend, make sure you know whether it’s on-premise or off-premise…it’s an important detail!
Most clubs host monthly, bi-monthly or weekly dances at hotels, banquet halls or bars. Often, the club will have a particular theme for a party - when deciding what to wear, find out if there’s a theme for that night. What ever theme – or lack thereof – the general rule of dressing for swinger parties is ‘dress to impress – to the extreme.’ For men, that means looking good, not sleazy…it’s probably not the best place to wear that Speedo and wife-beater. Dress nicely, be well-groomed (oh, PLEASE be well groomed! Shower, shave, cologne (but not too much!), deodorant and mouthwash never hurt a would-be swinger!) and look like you’re there to impress a woman, not turn her off.
For women and what to wear – well, ladies, now is the time to unleash that inner slut! Be as daring as you want…so long as you’re not walking through the parking lot with your boobs hanging out, the sexier you dress, the better! By the end of the evening, most women at an on-premise swinger party are wearing fewer clothes than they came in with…so wear that sexy black dress, but go ahead and wear that slinky negligee underneath…by the end of the party, that may be all you’re wearing!
But remember to keep things covered while in public…most off-premise parties aren’t looking to have the street outside filled with gawkers!
So … you’re dressed and ready to go…you arrive at the hotel (or banquet hall or bar) and you’re wondering what to expect. Let us walk you through a typical experience we’ve had:
In many ways, what you’re walking in to looks like a slightly off-kilter wedding reception. You’ll most likely check in when you arrive, pay the fee and maybe get a name tag. Many off-premise parties have a BYOB bar…you bring your own booze and head to the bar when you get inside. At the bar, a bartender will give you a nametag to put on your bottle and whenever you want a drink, the bartender will grab your bottle and mix it with whatever you want (at many parties, mixers and munchies are included in the price).
Most likely, you’ll walk into a large banquet-type room filled with tables and chairs, with a dance floor. Munchies will be lined up on one wall, and at some parties, a vendor might be on hand selling lingerie. Again, like a slightly off-kilter wedding reception, you’ll find groups of people who are already friends hanging out together, happy to see each other again…off-premise clubs are somewhat notorious for having cliques, so don’t be surprised if you feel like a bit of an outsider. It’s often easier to go with a couple or several couples you already know, but if not, be a little out-going and you’ll probably make friends right away.
The people look like what you’d find at an off-kilter wedding reception as well…all ages (except for children, of course), ranging from young couples in their early 20′s to couples in their 60′s and sometimes 70′s. Looks range from hot to not-so, just like in real life (which means, if you and your S.O. are a little over-weight, don’t worry – lots of people are!)
Music will be playing, people will generally chat with their friends or those at their own table for the first hour or two, having a few drinks, relaxing and getting to know new people. After a time, the music picks up and more people hit the dance floor…women at first (and you’ll know it’s not a wedding reception the firs time you see two women making out while slow dancing!), then the guys joining in. As the evening goes on, the dance floor and bar area fill up and the tables empty out. The clothes become more risqué, as the ladies strip down as far as they dare. There’s a lot more body contact on the dance floor than at your local dance club as people grind and grope. ‘Group’ dances break out as three, four five or more people grab hold of one another and press up tight together, somewhat swaying to the music but more groping than dancing.
Often, clubs have raffles and giveaways that break things up some (and generates plenty of groans when the lights come up). Slowly, people start exiting the party, headed back to whatever hotel room they’ve pre-arranged.
Most dances end well before ‘bar’ closing time – midnight is pretty typical (that gives everyone lots of time to have fun after-party style!) By the end of the evening – if you’ve stayed the whole time – the crowd has thinned considerably as has the amount of clothing (although again, most clubs frown on flashing of any kind and definitely no sexual contact!). The host crew sticks around for cleanup duty (not fun!) as everyone else – hopefully – begins the rest of the evening with whoever they’ve paired up with!
As a new couple at the party, what happens there is up to you…you’re welcome to be as out-going or shy as you want (although you’ll meet a lot more people if you’re a little out-going!) If you’re there with people you’ve already met, it’s sort of pre-determined that all of you will end up back in one room for fun…our suggestion is to go with the flow and have as much fun as you want!
If you didn’t come with anyone, hopefully sometime over the evening you’ve caught the eye of another couple…if not, don’t despair – even if you go straight home after the party, you’re going to be so sexually charged-up after the party you and your partner will likely fuck each others’ brains out!
If you do find a couple you like, somebody has to be the aggressor and ask the other couple ‘back to the room.’ There seems to be a definite split between aggressive couples and passive couples…if, as a couple, you’re somewhat aggressive in meeting, flirting with and ‘putting the moves’ on the opposite sex, you’re likely to have little trouble finding some new partners. If you’re more passive, you may need to find a more aggressive couple who will lead the way…problems arise when two passive couples pair off and nobody’s makes that ‘first move.’ It’s a fairly common problem and it often solves itself – one couple starts some soft-swap play and hands start roaming.
Once you’ve attended an off-premise party, there’s a pretty good chance you’re gonna want to go again! Our suggestion is to check out more than one…you may find the mix of people different at every party; some have more or fewer cliques, some may play music that more suits your tastes. But the best reason to try out multiple parties is the chance to meet more swingers!